


I Am Not A Vessel (for your good intent)

by Ember360



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Chaotic Fitzroy, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24936283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember360/pseuds/Ember360
Summary: Abandon all your stupid dreamsAbout the girl I could have been, my dear'Cause in the night I know you burn with feelingsI cannot return, my dearOh, my dear-The Crane Wives, "Tongues and Teeth"
Relationships: Argo Keene & Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Argo Keene/Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt & Chaos (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 37





	I Am Not A Vessel (for your good intent)

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to yellowmagicalgirl on Tumblr who gave me prompt number number 60, “You’re/we’re just not the same anymore” with Maplekeene! This is your fault :)!
> 
> Content Warnings:  
> -Minor Violence  
> -Slight body horror/gore (it's just Chaos being unsettling)  
> -Manipulation/abuse themes  
> -Fitzroy Is Kinda Evil But He Has A Reason

Argo stood outside of Fitzroy's room. His stomach hurt from even the thought of opening of the door. God, he hated confrontation so much, and the fact that Fitzroy was the one he had to go up against only worsened his anxiety. The villain had become more reckless lately, often using threats and violence in situations that could be handled by other means. Of course, that wasn't the only reason Argo didn't want to oppose him. He firmly believed that Fitzroy wouldn't hurt him- at least not on purpose- but that belief was slowly becoming less and less stable. Argo admitted that Fitzroy frightened him sometimes. Those feelings used to be reserved exclusively for when Fitzroy was raging, but lately that anger had been coming out more and more. Argo needed to make sure his friend was alright, but he knew that Fitzroy would take his concern as a challenge. 

Suddenly, the door knob turned and swung open. Fitzroy looked down on Argo, eyebrows raised. His expression was so unreadable, almost cold... He was like that a lot these days. "Are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand outside my door all day?"

"How-"

"I saw your shadow underneath the frame," Fitzroy answered before Argo could finish his sentence. Shame washed over him, although he didn't know why. "Now. Is there something you need, or did you just feel like wasting my time?" Argo frowned, and Fitzroy's eyes grew a bit softer. "Sorry, that was mean, wasn't it?" Argo nodded, and Fitzroy avoided his eyes.

"Uh- Actually, Fitz, I- I need to talk to you about something- it won't take long, I promise! Can I come in?" Argo asked. 

"Yeah." Fitzroy shrugged and moved out of the doorframe, letting Argo follow him inside. The genasi sat down on the bed, and grabbed a pillow without thinking. He needed something to fiddle with, something to distract him from the obvious. Fitzroy remained standing. He didn't use be so imposing, but with his magically added height he was practically looming over Argo; always with that unfeeling expression. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I jus' wanted to check up on ya, see how you've been doin'," Argo said nonchalantly, avoiding Fitzroy's eyes. 

"I'm fine." Fitzroy insisted, giving his sidekick a suspicious look. "What's this really about?" 

"No, I-" Argo paused, thinking of what to say, something, anything that wouldn't make Fitzroy upset. "I'm your friend, Fitz, and I'm worried about ya. Recently, you've been more... high-strung. Jumpy. I just wanna make sure that yer alright, s'all." 

"What do you mean, 'jumpy'?" Fitzroy demanded. He was getting defensive, alright. 

"I- I dunno, it seems like you've been using yer uh- rage-mode or whatever more often and I just wanted to know if that was because something was bothering ya or you were having issues with yer magic powers or something..." Argo trailed off. Gods, what was he getting himself into? He had been so prepared, but as soon as he saw Fitzroy with that uncharacteristic cold stare on his handsome face, he fumbled and forgot what he had planned on saying. So now, here he was, confronting his dangerous friend without so much as an outline of a plan. Argo was going to have to wing it- and he was never one for improv. 

"What's wrong with that?"

"What?"

"With going into a rage. I'm a _barbarian_ , Argo, it's kind of my thing." Fitzroy crossed his arms and scoffed.

"Well, I- I mean, I guess, but it's still kind of dangerous. You sort of lose yourself when ya get like that- do stuff you wouldn't do it you weren't in a- a rage," Argo reasoned. 

Fitzroy raised one eyebrow. "What makes you think you know what I would or wouldn't do? You don't know me."

"I-" Argo laughed nervously, a desperate and feeble attempt at hiding the distress in his voice. "Fitz, yes I _do_. Or, at least enough to have a vague idea of your moral compass. You're a good dude, Fitzroy."

For a moment, for just a split second, Fitzroy's unfeeling expression wavered, giving way to delighted surprise. Of course, his eyes narrowed again quickly and his face dropped back to that blank stare, but Argo had seen it. And it gave him hope. 

"You have too much faith in me, Argonaut Keene," Fitzroy murmured as he turned away. "I have no interest in moral dilemmas, to be frank with you. I'm going to use the power I have to get the outcome I want and I don't care if anyone sees it as good or bad, because those are subjective." 

Argo paused for a moment, trying to process Fitzroy's words. This just didn't make any sense... "So what, is that why you've been leaning into your rage more often? Because you really don't care who you hurt?"

The knight's silence was deafening. "Yes," Fitzroy finally breathed, and Argo's stomach dropped. He hadn't been expecting him to actually agree with that.

"No. No, no, no, Fitz- Fitz, that's not true and you know it. Cut it out with all that confusing grey morals bullshit. You're a good person, you're a good friend, and you care about whether or not you hurt people. I've known you for almost a whole year now and I care about you a- a lot and I'm not going to let you do whatever the hell you're doing to yourself. Ever since you got cursed- you're just not the same anymore, and it's scaring me."

Fitzroy glanced behind his shoulder. "Argo, please. I suggest you let go of that picture perfect image you have in your head, because that's not me. Not anymore. And maybe it never was." 

Argo was an impulsive man. More often than not, he was in favor of action over words, decision over thought. So Argo grabbed Fitzroy's wrist and pulled, forcing his friend to face him. He took both of Fitzroy's hands in his own, fingers intertwined. Argo's face was filled with grim determination as he looked into Fitzroy's eyes. They were a wonderful dark brown, a color that he had come to adore with his whole heart. Those deep, beautiful eyes looked so disconcertingly blank nowadays. "Fitz. I don't expect you to be perfect, and I don't want you to be. You're arrogant and impulsive and materialistic and I _love_ it. I don't want ya t' change because- I love you already. I love everything about you, and that includes your flaws, so _please_ , please don't try to change, you're wonderful the way you are. Or- or at least I think so..."

"You're just saying that to make me stop," Fitzroy scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"No, I'm _not_ ," Argo insisted. He cupped Fitzroy's face in his hands, desperate to get through that thick skull of his. He was _not_ about to let his heartfelt love confession be met with something like 'I don't believe you'. "Is it really that hard to realize that I-"

"Stop! Just- Shut up!" Fitzroy backed away a bit and grabbed Argo's wrists, his fingernails digging slightly into Argo's skin. "Stop lying to me, stop making excuses, stop questioning my authority! We- We are not _friends_ , Argo! I am your superior and you are my servant and that's _it_! And that's all it will ever be, so stop trying to defy me, stop trying to- I don't know- form some sort bond with me and just do as you're told! Your job is to listen to my orders and do what I want you to do and that's it. That's it!" 

Argo didn't know which hurt more- Fitzroy's words or the death grip on his wrists that was rapidly starting to heat up. He tried to pull away, but the villain would not let go. He opened his mouth to say something, anything- "Fitz- please, I-"

"I said shut up!" Fitzroy roared, and his hands glowed red hot for a split second. Argo yelped from the searing pain and ripped his hands away from him. The genasi fell down on the floor with the momentum, clutching his burns and trying not to burst into tears. Fitzroy loomed over him, a terrifying anger in his eyes. Argo looked up at him in terror, trying to prepare himself for whatever awaited him next because he knew that it would hurt no matter what. Guilt bubbled in his chest for some odd reason; He was the one who had upset Fitzroy, he was the one who had earned his wrath, he was the one who had started all this, he deserved whatever consequences awaited him.

Instead, Fitzroy turned around and began to walk across the room, away from him. Argo's lips quivered from the effort of holding back his tears as he stared down at the burns along his wrists. It wasn't Fitzroy's fault he was hurt, he hadn't meant to hurt him, it was Argo's fault for making him angry... 

"What happened?" the genasi finally croaked, and there was no way he could hide the heartbreak in his voice now. "Where is he? My friend, my teammate, the man who saved me from death?"

Fitzroy stopped walking, and Argo both hoped and feared that he'd turn around. But he didn't. "I hesitated, you know."

"Wha- What?" 

"When we were in that hospital, and I had that medicine in my hand. I wanted to drink it myself, I wanted to save myself instead. But I choose to save you... And I wish I hadn't." 

There was a moment's pause before Argo finally dissolved into tears. Every part of him hurt, his throat was sore and his lungs burned and his eyes were tired and his wrists were aching and his stomach was turned over. His heart was crushed, battered, bruised, exhausted from searching, striving for an ounce of affection that had never been there. He wanted to ask Fitzroy what he had done wrong, beg him to give him a chance to solve whatever mistakes he'd made. How deep did Fitzroy's disdain go? How long had he despised him, how much did he hate him? Did he just not him around or did he really want him dead? All these questions and their possible answers hurt so much, and they swarmed in Argo's skull like hornets. He needed to stand up, to get out of here, but his sobs immobilized him. Argo was miserable, heartbroken, pathetic, embarrassing, foolish, stupid, useless, needy, annoying, weak, deplorable...

This inner torment continued for what felt like hours but finally, Argo had no more tears left to cry and he just sat shaking on the floor. Fitzroy was still standing with his back turned towards him. Argo rose to his feet, and it took everything in him not to collapse again. He considered, for the briefest of moments, putting a hand on Fitzroy's shoulder, but the raw flesh on his wrists reminded him that this was a poor idea. Besides, Fitzroy hated him. He wanted him gone. He wasn't going to stay with someone who didn't want him.

"Goodbye, Fitz," the rogue managed to whisper as he leaned against the frame of the doorway.

"Its Fitzroy," the knight corrected. And Argo left him.

\---

Fitzroy's jaw clenched and his fingernails dug into his crossed arms as he listened to Argo's heartbroken sobs from behind him. He didn't have the strength to look at him, hell, he barely had the strength to listen to him. Not because he hated Argo. But because he didn't.

His sidekick finally took a few shaky breathes and it almost sounded like he was hyperventilating for just a moment. Silence. Fitzroy waited for him to say something, because of course he'll say something, he's _Argo_ , he's stubborn and loyal and determined and stupid... 

"Goodbye, Fitz." The pain in his voice was so clear, so evident. Fitzroy's heart plummeted. It hurt him to do this, but it was hurting Argo ten times worse. Fitzroy swallowed a lump in his throat. 

"Its Fitzroy," he managed to say without letting his emotions seep into his voice. He heard the door to his room slowly close shut. Argo was gone. He had finally left him.

Fitzroy's vision turned blood red and lightning arched around him as he picked up some nearby papers on the desk and threw them across the room. He tore at the posters on the walls, he destroyed the pillows on his bed, he hurled boxes of pens and pencils around the room, he broke the window, he pushed over his dresser, he ripped some of his best cloaks in half. Finally, he swept all of his picture frames off the shelves and took out his maul and feverishly hit the photos over and over and over and over until he was surrounded by broken glass, broken wood, broken memories.

He stood there shaking for a moment, leaning over the destruction. His breathing came in strained pants and he stumbled backward as his vision focused again. The half-elf put one hand to his temple and hissed. He knew that doing this would be upset himself but he had imagined it at this capacity... The anger in his stomach refused to die down as Fitzroy looked across the room, seeing just how thoroughly he had wrecked it. He sighed and dragged himself into his bed. It would be best to sleep this off. 

But instead of entering a calming, mindless trance as per usual, when Fitzroy went unconscious his world went dark. His eyes fluttered a few times and suddenly he was standing in a grand throne room. Fitzroy grimaced. He really, _really_ wasn't in the mood for this. 

Echoing laughter filled the hall, the laughter of Chaos. "My, my, my, my!" that sickly sweet voice cooed. "Now that was quite the show, wasn't it?" 

Fitzroy whirled around and a bolt of electricity flung itself from his hands and into Chaos' stomach. The shot left a searing hole, which began to close as pearlescent flesh and organs reformed in a gruesome display. Chaos chuckled again, as if they hadn't just had their intestines removed. 

" _Whaaaat_ don't be mad at me! I didn't make you say those nasty things!" Chaos' white eyes sparkled with cruel delight. Their twisting horns curled and moved in an unnerving manner as they spoke. 

"Shut up," Fitzroy hissed. 

"No, I don't think I will!" Chaos cackled, kicking their feet up as they floated around the room. Fitzroy glanced down at the floor to see that it bent and warped around their cloak, as to not have it drag on the ground. He turned up his nose and took a small step back. Things were strange in this dream-like state. Chaos had full power here, which was a terrifying thought.

"So why am I here?" Fitzroy demanded. "Have you come to just ridicule me? Felt like having a little fun?" 

Chaos pouted, their head tilting a little too much. "You're talking like I'm the one who made this decision. This is all your own doing, Fitz. All I had to do was sit back..." They sat down on the throne with a (literally) earsplitting grin. "And _watch._ "

"It's Fitzroy. And I... I did what I had to do." He stared down at floor, hoping that Chaos wouldn't spot the sorrow in his face. But they did. 

"Oh, don't be so humble! 'Did what you had to do'- nonsense! You did what you thought was right, it was a decision that you made and you succeeded! You certainly scared him off well enough. I wonder if you'll ever even see him again..." 

"If I hadn't... sent him away, then I could've... What we're doing here, Chaos, is necessary to win the war with the Demon Prince, I need to learn how use my magic's potential and that means that it will get out of hand, like you said. And when that happens... I don't want them to be there. They could get hurt, and I can't let that happen." 

Silence fell over the hall, and Fitzroy finally dared to look up at his patron. Chaos' grin grew and grew and finally they descended into a fit of cackling. He watched uncomfortably as they howled in uncontrollable laughter. "Ohhhh! Oh, that is _rich_!" Chaos chuckled, wiping away a tear from their shimmering cheek. "Hold on, hold on, I need a minute-" 

"Cut it with the theatrics Chaos. Get to your point." 

"Oh, the _theatrics?!_ " Chaos stood to their full height, imposing white eyes looming down on Fitzroy. "You want theatrics? I'll show you the theatrics! Just let me get us some tickets!" 

Suddenly, the room shifted and distorted until Fitzroy was seated in a red cushioned chair on a balcony that overlooked a grand stage. On that stage stood a copy of himself along with an illusion of Argo. Fitzroy squirmed, but soon found that he was glued to the spot. Chaos sat on a more decorative chair beside him, holding a pair of opera house glasses.

The scene on the stage began to play, and Fitzroy immediately recognized it as the conversation he had just had with Argo. Dread filled his stomach. 

"This is unnecessary-" 

"Sh, sh, sh!" Chaos put a finger to their lips and suddenly Fitzroy's vocal cords seized up and he could no longer speak. "Just enjoy the show, dear. It's one of your best preformances!" 

"Fitz, yes I _do_. Or, at least enough to have a vague idea of your moral compass. You're a good dude, Fitzroy," Argo, or the illusion of Argo on stage, insisted. Chaos chuckled and Fitzroy dug his fingernails into the wood of his chair. Being a part of this conversation had been bad enough but watching it all play out in third person was something else entirely. 

The truth was, he wanted to believe Argo so badly, he wanted to be a good person, someone worthy of love and friendship. But he wasn't. And he couldn't be, not if he wanted to win Grey's war. He had to ruthless, tough, ambitious... Merciless. Still, that didn't stop him from yearning for something different, from wanting to be a different person than the one he had to become.

"Ever since you got cursed- you're just not the same anymore, and it's scaring me."

Fitzroy's heart ached. He never wanted Argo to be worried for him, he never asked for him to care. But for some reason the genasi's doting always came as a comfort to him, rather than an annoyance. Curse him, for being so loving and kind. It made getting rid of him so much harder. 

"I don't want ya t' change because- I love you already. I love everything about you, and that includes your flaws, so _please_ , please don't try to change, you're wonderful the way you are," Argo begged.

Fitzroy's eyes squeezed shut and he moved to put his hands over his ears. He couldn't take any more of this, he knew what was coming next and he didn't want to see it, he didn't want to hear it, he didn't even want to think about it!

But Chaos sure did. "Ohhhh, here comes my favorite part! Come on, let's get better seats." 

The two of them were suddenly standing on the stage, right beside the illusions. Fitzroy tried to close his eyes again, but they wouldn't listen to him, his whole body was frozen and all he could do was watch. 

"Shut up!" Fitzroy shouted. The real Fitzroy flinched at the sound as he saw himself dig his fingers into Argo's wrists. _Don't hurt him!_ his mind immediately protested, but he was talking to himself. Fitzroy's memory kept playing, each and every biting word making Argo and the watching Fitzroy grimace. 

"I said shut up!" Rage shot through Fitzroy as he watched himself burn Argo. He was always upset when people hurt his friends and now that visceral anger was directed at himself. How could he do this? How could he hurt the one person who had always been there for him, no matter how questionable his actions? 

Fitzroy watched in horror as Argo fell to the ground. This was the point where he had turned around because he couldn't handle seeing the consequences of his actions. But now here he was, forced to stare at them. His eyes were growing tired and tears started to blur his vision. 

"What happened?" Argo began to ask. Fitzroy locked his gaze on his own back, trying not to glance at the brokenhearted man in the corner of his vision. Meanwhile, his past self dealt his final blow, an utter lie that said he wished Argo was gone. Chaos slowly came to stand behind Fitzroy.

As Argo broke into sobs, Chaos grabbed Fitzroy's head and forced him to look. His stomach immediately dropped as soon as he saw his sidekick crumpled on the floor, drowning in misery and anguish. He wanted so desperately to just reach out towards Argo, to tell him that he was lying, this was all just a stupid ruse to make sure he didn't hurt anyone. But he couldn't. The damage had already been done, and it was beyond repair. He had hurt Argo already. He had hurt him so, so much...

Fitzroy watched through tearful eyes as Argo stumbled out of the room. "Goodbye, Fitz," he said, and suddenly Chaos and Fitzroy were back in the throne room. 

Fitzroy collapsed onto his knees as soon as he had control over his own body again. "I- I didn't mean it," he mumbled pathetically. "I didn't mean it."

"Oh but that doesn't matter now does it?" Chaos reasoned, one leg kicked over the side of their throne. "To him, you meant every word!" 

Fitzroy laid in silence, wiping at his tears. He took a few deep breaths in an attempt to compose himself. He couldn't appear vulnerable right now, not in front of Chaos.

"You know, I'm actually quite proud of you! I thought for sure you'd break character when he confessed his feelings, but you didn't even flinch! That's some raw talent right there!"

Fitzroy looked up at them in confusion. "Wha-"

"I mean I'm guessing you already knew, given how painstakingly obvious he's been." Chaos hopped off their throne and their form began to twist and configure until they looked like Argo himself. "Its always 'oh, Fitz, my hero!' and 'have you met my incredibly handsome and wonderful friend Fitzroy?' and 'I believe in ya, Fitz, you're amazing'" Each time Chaos quoted Argo they spoke in his exact voice, to the point where it was uncanny. Then again, everything was uncanny when it came to Chaos. 

"What in the blazes are you talking about?" Fitzroy demanded.

In a puff of smoke, Chaos returned to their usual pearl form. A slow grin started to spread on their face. "Oh, you _don't_ know." 

"Know what?"

"Oh, Fitzroy, I suppose I simply have too much faith in you. You really _are_ oblivious, aren't you?" Chaos tutted, tapping Fitzroy's nose with one long curling finger. 

The knight pushed them away and took a few steps backward. "Just tell me!"

"Alright..." Chaos chuckled as they lounged in their throne. "Are you sure-"

"Spit it out!" Fitzroy shouted. The air around him began to crackle with electricity as he grew more and more frustrated. He hated being kept in the dark, he hated knowing that other people knew things that he did not.

"Argo's in love with you." 

A long silence fell over the room, as Fitzroy stood still in shock and Chaos smiled smugly.

"I- What?! No he- No, he doesn't- that doesn't make any sense!”

"He literally said he loved you today-"

"YEAH, as, like, a friend!" Fitzroy argued. He couldn't even comprehend the possibility of Argo having romantic feelings for him, it just didn't make sense. Everything was happening all at once, he couldn't deal with _this_ of all things. 

"Really, Fitzroy? Would someone who's 'just a friend' risk their life for you with such tenacity? Would someone who's 'just a friend' go out of their way to compliment and brag about you? Would someone who's 'just a friend' look at you with such unwavering adoration? Would someone who's 'just a friend' call you their hero, tell you they'd die for you and then beg you to stay alive while you're cursed?"

"I mean- I- Yes? Maybe?" 

Chaos sighed and drifted around the room. "You're such a stubborn ass, Fitzroy. Buuuuut, if you're going to run around, ignoring the obvious just because you can't handle the truth than I suppose it simply isn't my problem!" Fitzroy watched as they circled around him, their form twisting and dizzying. He squeezed his eyes shut, but he could feel those pure white eyes glaring down on him from above. 

Fitzroy tried to keep his mind off of the deity before him, but that just lead his train of thought right back to Argo. Did his friend really love him? Like, in a romantic sense? He had so many questions and above all of them was just... Why. Why would Argo like him? Fitzroy didn't really treat him the best, in fact more often than not he was defensive and snappy with the genasi. Not to mention his outbursts, or his temper, or his impulsive decisions or his obliviousness. There were so many reasons to dislike him... So why had Argo chosen to ignore them? Why had he stayed with him so long? Why would he love him.

A strange feeling rose in his chest. It felt... Strangely good. Comforting, warm...

Argo loved him. Argo was in love with Fitzroy. It felt so foreign to think that, but so sweet. Fitzroy actually smiled a little bit and, for first time in a long while, it was genuine. It felt so good to know that he was someone who could be cared for, someone that someone else could have feelings for. 

Chaos saw Fitzroy's second of comfort, and they were having none of it. "Of course," they began, drawing Fitzroy away from his blissful moment. "That doesn't quite matter anymore. He had his crush, he had his confession, and then he had his heartbreak. Just another poor soul on his way to... Well, wherever he'll wash up next I suppose!" 

Chaos cackled to themself and Fitzroy looked up at his patron with tired eyes. "Why?" he finally asked. 

The deity paused and looked down on their servant in curiosity. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Why are you doing this? What's in it for you, what's your big plan? What's the point of making me feel like shit? Is it just for funsies? Because haha the jokes over now, my life is ruined and I'm in pieces! What now?! What's the point of making me sit in your twisted opera house or- or telling me about Argo's feelings or just talking to me in general?! Why are you so bent on making me absolutely _miserable?!_ " 

Silence fell over the hall. The walls and floor around them began to shimmer until the two were left in an empty black void. Chaos stood with their back to Fitzroy. For the first time, nothing about their appearance was strange or unsettling, just... Quiet. Serious. Sincere. 

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Chaos whispered, their voice no longer echoing and happy-go-lucky, but rather humble and somber. "Caring... there are bonds that hold us to this world, Fitzroy, things that weigh us down from reaching our potential among the clouds. They are limitations. True power, true chaos, comes without limitation, it comes when you let go of what chains you to the ground. Caring is a chain, Fitzroy. And it tugs on your heart and it tears at your soul and it will _break_ you. But it doesn't have to be like that! Fitzroy, what have you been feeling all day? Miserable, you said? Well that's because you care. You hurt someone and you care that you hurt them, and that's dragging you downward. But I can help you! I can help you break your chains, I can take the pain, the burden of caring off your shoulders! I can do this for you, Fitzroy, please if you only let me... Then you can be free of guilt, free of pain, free of heartbreak, free of everything that's ever hurt you."

Fitzroy stated silent for a long time. Tears ran down his face as he shivered from the effort of not breaking into sobs. He was exhausted. Everything ached... "I- I'm just so tired," he hiccuped, and Chaos gave him a look of sympathy. 

"Shhhh... I know, I know," Chose murmured, pulling Fitzroy into a surprisingly comforting embrace. 

"I'm tired of h- hating myself and feeling bad all the time and I'm tired of being dragged into things I never asked be a- a part of and I'm just so sick of everything spiraling out of my control I- I just wanted people to see me I just w- wanted attention I'm so tired, I'm so tired of feeling like this is all my fault because I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't do anything, I just wanted... I just wanted someone to like me... Tha- That's all I wanted..." Fitzroy sobbed into Chaos' chest. They ran circles into his back with sharp fingernails. 

"I know... I know." Chaos pushed backwards and looked into Fitzroy's eyes, an illusion of compassion plastered on their cold face. "I can help you, please. Do you want me to take it all away?" 

"I..." Fitzroy trailed off. All he wanted was some rest. All he wanted was some quiet peace, all he wanted was to not be in constant pain very goddam day of his life. He wanted his problems to just go away, to just leave him alone for once in his life. 

"Yes," Fitzroy murmured. And Chaos took it.

**Author's Note:**

> HI HELLO IM SORRY NO IM NOT YES I AM???? Thank you yellowmagicalgirl for giving me the opportunity to wreak havoc, Im sorry this took so long fghkfgk. I hope you have 'fun' reading! 
> 
> Send me a prompt [here!](https://keenie.tumblr.com/post/620959529235038208/100-prompts-list)
> 
> ((Fun fact this is the 100th fic in the Maplekeene tag we did it lads)


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